Are you lonely?
Do you feel like your life has no meaning?
Do you want to live forever?
Then try religion! We give you a place to come together with other people who are scared of dying so you can sings songs about how you’re not gonna die and how you’re imaginary friend will save you!
Side affects may include no control of your own life, hating yourself for doing things that aren’t bad, war, genocide, and hating people you’ve never met. Do not try religion if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. Also do not take religion if you value rational thinking and being in control if you’re own life. Religion may hinder your ability to accept facts.